First of all, I promised Colin I would NOT put this story on Facebook...so today I'm teaching him about a little something called a 'white lie'. But I also had to teach him what a 'courtesy flush' is and how to use a plunger, so I figure we're even.
This is a little piece of wisdom I imparted upon my oldest Baby C this am:
Colin:(from bathroom): Wow, Mom! I'm full of poop today!
Me: Mmmmm...ok. (thinking about Frank for a moment) Perhaps a courtesy flush, son??
Colin: What's a courtesy flush and I have poop on my hands.
Me: A courtesy flush is when you flush in the middle of a poop so you don't have to use a little something called a 'plunger' and you need to wash your hands with soap. This is why you always wash your hands with SOAP after you poop- there might be some poop on your hands that you don't see. Then, what if you go and eat a sandwich?
Colin: Oh, Mommy! Then I would be eating a poop sandwich! That would be hilarious! And awesome! My friends would be all 'ewwwww' and I'd be all 'no, it's cool- I like poop sandwiches...'
I didn't really know what to say after that so I just showed him how to use a plunger in silence. This is one of those times, I really, really thing Frank would have done a better job at teaching our children something because I somehow made eating a shit sandwich sound cool.