Friday, November 18, 2011

Deer Hunting Can Bite Me

Ok folks, it's November and that just means one thing around here- it's time to hunt and kill deer, of course!  Frank told me that deer season is open until July or August this year, but I'm keeping my eye on him- I believe it's over much, much earlier...like May.  I believe this is Frank's way of taking a nice little vacation without us in a lovely place called 'Deer Camp'.  I think 'Deer Camp' translates to 'disco ball and strippers',  I'm not really sure but my problem is that while Frank is out frolicking in the woods, I'm home with the Baby C's...ALONE!  Tonight they invented a new game called 'Mommy in the Headlights'- this means that they both somehow conveniently found really bright lasers or lights and they have been lurking around corners waiting for me to walk by so they can blind the shit out of me.  It's not my fault that I'm all 'SQUIRRELL!' when it comes to bright lights.  They've tripped me twice. Anyway, I think it's perfect practice for next deer season when the Baby C's WILL be going with Frank.  By force, if necessary.

So when Frank's out of town...I don't usually do jack, but this time I'm having a party.  In typical Christine style, I have no idea who is coming, what we're going to eat or where everyone is going to sleep.  I Do know that my two little heathens will be at my neighbor's house all night (God Bless you Judy- May the force be with you, I have the name and telephone number of a good Priest and so on).  My friend or friends and I are going to paint my office and get ready to hang up all of my awesome rock star goodies while having a very responsible and age appropriate slumber party with tons of booze.  I haven't bought anything but pajamas. And that's the ONE thing I did NOT need!  (Not because we aren't going to wear them you pervs, because I own 5 million pairs of pajamas)  I have no idea what I need to paint a room, but fuck it. The party is happening anyway.  (Side note: Who the hell let ME be responsible for planning my own party???)

I'll let you know how it goes!