Tuesday, November 8, 2011

How To Mess With Your Kids' Minds...Just a Little

I'm uncharacteristically grumpy today, mi amigos (Monska is teaching me Spanish...I'm getting smarter by the minute over here).  I don't know why.  Maybe it's the earthquakes that we've had in Oklafuckinghoma, of all places.  Maybe it's the rain, I don't know.  All I know is that when Corbin dragged me into the kitchen (for like, the eleventy hundreth time) this morning to stand absent mindedly in front of the open freezer so he could list all of the things he could NOT have for breakfast, I snapped.  Not 'News at 5 snapped'- just 'Christine snapped'. Which means that Evil Christine came out to play with Corbin for a minute (my kids LOVE Evil Christine because she is usually a lot more fun than regular Christine.  Evil Christine made them yellow snow ice cream.  They love that kind of shit.)  Anyway, right around that time my coffee pot started making a weirdly loud hissing noise.  I don't know why.  Maybe it was chastising me for standing there with the fucking freezer door wide open while it was trying to keep my coffee hot?  Anyway I seized the opportunity with both hands.  I stopped, wide eyed and looked at Corbin, totally horrified.  "What have you done to piss the coffee pot off?!?!  Oh my Lord, I'm scared to death- what did YOU DO????????"  I yelled the last part in terror.  He closed the freezer door and ran like hell to the bedroom.  No more freezer gazing!  Ha!  Today, I won my friends.

Unless I need him to fetch me a Popsicle later.  Fuck.