When Frank got home yesterday, he found me hiding in the closet...
Frank: What are you doing in the closet?
Me: Shhhh!! I'm hiding from those kids.
Frank: You mean OUR kids?
Me: Whatever. I think the big one is trying to kill me.
Frank: You mean COLIN. You think Colin is trying to kill you?
Me: Whatever. But the little one...he's the mastermind behind it all. He's the one I'm really afraid of...
Frank: He's 3, Christine. He can't be a criminal genius at age 3.
Me: ...and that's exactly what he wants you to believe (maniacal laughter as Frank shuts the closet door)
All I have to add to that is 1. I'm glad Christmas vacation is OVER and 2. I don't actually like or trust my kids enough to spend two weeks with them ever again.