Hello and welcome to this week's wine post. As a special treat, I'm sharing a few things said by my beloved Demon this week. I'm not making this shit up people- I'm not that creative.
A couple of days ago as I was attempting to do yoga, Demon came into the room, shit his pants, then plopped down in the middle of my yoga mat and said "Sorry for party rocking, baby girl."
On the 'baby girl' subject, he doesn't refer to me as 'mom' now- I am known as, you guessed it 'baby girl.' All the time. A typical morning at my house sounds like this: "I need some cereal and please put Power Rangers on the tv, baby girl." It's disturbing!
Tonight I caught him in the backyard, dancing, wearing only a sparkly blue backpack. He was singing "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard' and "I'm sexy and I know it." Except he adds the phrase 'teabagging' at the end. No fucking idea for real.
After I forced him into a pair of underwear, he sat down and snuggled beside me on our blanket (we've been sitting outside every night watching the bats eat- it's the coolest thing ever). He looked at me innocently and asked "Can I pee on you?"
After this post, I'm getting back to writing about rock stars because even a little time spent with my kids is too much for anybody to handle. Especially me.