I'm drawn to weirdness like a moth to a flame, people. If you're familiar with my taste in music, friends, clothing, movies...(honestly at this moment I can't think of a single thing about me that's normal so just go ahead and insert whatever you want in this space______) then you already know this about me. If you're bothered by weirdness then you should go read something else for a while even if you're on the potty because this just won't be worth it.
I kissed a python yesterday. And I liked it. I wanted to bring it home with me. But that's not too weird, right? It's not like I kissed it on the mouth. It was just a itty bitty baby python. A baby python that someday will be almost as tall as a tiny human being and possess the ability to slowly strangle me in my sleep. But it was so damned cute. It made me want to have a baby or a pet. I think we all agree that it's just best for my neighborhood and the universe in general if I don't repopulate anything. But I totally want a new pet. A weird one.
Frank said a very loud and emphatic NO to a snake of any kind. He also said NO to rats. And anything that rhymes with 'rats'... like 'bats'. Which is super unfair because I totally love bats right now. It also unfairly eliminated 'cats', which I love, too. It also eliminates gnats and probably some other shit, too, but I'm too lazy to go through the rest of the alphabet. Suffice it to say I can't have any super cute rhyming pets. And that's so fucking unfair.
Anyway, I can't have a bat but I can have something called a sugar glider which looks suspiciously like a bat but doesn't rhyme at all so I'm safe. Plus one of my friends owns a couple of sugar gliders and said they're totally assholes (the sugar gliders are assholes- not my friend) and you know what that means, right? It means they'll fit in perfectly around here.