Ok- as most of you know, this past Thursday was the Wednesday 13 show. It was at this really cool, small venue I've never been to called 'The Marquee'. The show was not overcrowded so we had the benefit of being all up in the action. Wednesday 13 is a helluva showman- I love his band, too. After the show, we actually had a chance to meet the band and get pictures- which was a HUGE treat for me. Wednesday was super cool, as were the rest of his band, and they all patiently signed stuff and took pictures with everyone. They were even patient enough to put up with our "Wait a minute - this picture sucks- we gotta take another one so we can Facebook this shit!" Monica, Sarah and Stacy were awesome sports (Stacy jumped headfirst into the pictures with no fear- the picture of her and Roman is my favorite- he seems like such a sweetheart) Anyway, the last song they sang was one of my favorites- 'Bad Things.' I could die and go to evil girl heaven and be just fine now. My only regret is not making it in time to see Aiden and ESPECIALLY Modern Day Escape- LOVE them.
After the show we went to The Majestic because nothing follows a metal show better than drag queens. It was (in my own often repeated words that evening) "BEST GIRLS NIGHT EVER!!" I'd like to give a big THANK YOU to Monica and tell you all that when I had exceeded my limit of Red Bull and vodkas and lost the power of speech, she did the right and responsible thing of having me cut off...from Red Bull. I know I've said it before, but my friends are WAY cooler than yours. I'd also like to thank Sarah for being our designated driver and for getting us home safely and for thinking drunk people are funny instead of annoying. I'd like to thank Stacy for her fearlessness with both drag queens and metal dudes. I'd like to thank all three of them for putting up with all of my drunken "I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS!" outbursts, as well.
Oh! Almost forgot- I'd also like to thank 'the boots of plenty' for never running out of gum or lip gloss.
It was a night to be remembered...but only by Sarah, I think.
Do you know what a 'Booger Wall' is?? If you don't, you need to find out immediately. Because they do.
A couple of nights ago, I was tucking big Baby C into bed and I looked over to find him (please pardon me being so blunt) knuckle deep in his nose. I was ten kinds of mortified. "COLIN!! I can see you!!! This (me sticking my finger in my nose) does NOT give you the power of invisibility! What I also see is that you do not have a Kleenex. Are you trying to tell me I'm laying in a bed of boogers right this very second?!?"
"No, mom" he said, shaking his head entertained by my obvious stupidity. "I wipe them on the wall right here, by my head."
I quickly climbed out of booger boy's sheets. "Son...what do you think happens to them AFTER you wipe them on the wall. Do you think they magically disappear?!?"
"They fall off somewhere, I guess. I can't see them anymore. What's that word- when something like water just goes away?"
"Evaporation? Boogers do NOT evaporate, you boob. What you have there is called a 'collection'. And what's worse is that it's a BOOGER COLLECTION. Way to go!"
The next day I asked a couple of my friends- only the ones with sons- about booger walls and they all nodded knowingly. It appears that most little boys have a booger wall in their house somewhere. I have also heard of one in a car. I'm sure they're everywhere and we're inadvertently sitting next to or on top of them at any given minute. I mean think about it- how many times do you see a little boy with a tissue?? My guess is never...because their booger disposal system works just fine on walls, car seats and their clothes.
One of my friends gave me a sympathetic hug and said "Wait til they're teenagers and you find crunchy socks and towels all over the house..."
Somebody, please just kill me now. Or send wine...lots and lots of wine.