You may or may not already know that the biggest baby C won his baseball tournament this weekend. Which means that I've finally won a first place trophy. It totally counts, people- you just can't fuck with my imaginary glory. It's mine all mine and you cannot have it, no matter how much you beg. But I will share it with you- because that's the kind of person I am. I'm a giver! You also can't fuck with my perception that I'm a giver.
Anyway, you already know that I totally embarrassed myself, right? Of course I did, because that's what I do! This time the embarrassment came in the form of a pee pee race. Let me explain-
So I take the babiest Baby C to the potty. He follows me into the bathroom and enters the stall beside me. I start to use the potty and remembering the state of the baby C's toilet when I cleaned it this past week, told him "don't piss on the toilet seat and if you do, for God's sake, clean it up with some toilet paper!" I felt bad for a second- why can't I ever just relax and have fun?! Anyway, I took that opportunity to challenge him to a pee pee race. (Please don't ask me what that is- I figured I would win because I had already started peeing and...forget it.) "Pee pee race- here we go...I'm gonna win!" Corbin ignored me, as he often does so I reached under the stall to grab his foot. "You better pee fast- I got a head start!"
Yeah. I totally grabbed some random lady's foot. Who had a fresh pedicure and lovely sparkly flip flops. Her response? "You should know that I'm the pee pee race champion of this park..."