Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Pee Pee Race

You may or may not already know that the biggest baby C won his baseball tournament this weekend.  Which means that I've finally won a first place trophy.  It totally counts, people-  you just can't fuck with my imaginary glory.  It's mine all mine and you cannot have it, no matter how much you beg.  But I will share it with you-  because that's the kind of person I am.  I'm a giver!  You also can't fuck with my perception that I'm a giver. 

Anyway, you already know that I totally embarrassed myself, right?  Of course I did, because that's what I do!  This time the embarrassment came in the form of a pee pee race.  Let me explain-

So I take the babiest Baby C to the potty.  He follows me into the bathroom and enters the stall beside me.  I start to use the potty and  remembering the state of the baby C's toilet when I cleaned it this past week, told him "don't piss on the toilet seat and if you do, for God's sake, clean it up with some toilet paper!"  I felt bad for a second- why can't I ever just relax and have fun?!  Anyway, I took that opportunity to challenge him to a pee pee race. (Please don't ask me what that is-  I figured I would win because I had already started peeing and...forget it.)  "Pee pee race- here we go...I'm gonna win!"  Corbin ignored me, as he often does so I reached under the stall to grab his foot.  "You better pee fast-  I got a head start!"

Yeah.  I totally grabbed some random lady's foot.  Who had a fresh pedicure and lovely sparkly flip flops.  Her response?  "You should know that I'm the pee pee race champion of this park..."